Monday, February 1, 2010

Let's get smart.

I wear a nametag that says Doug H. Nuts.

I'm obviously a female.

Why do I get asked, over and over, "Is Doug your real name?"

Let's get real here.

What is the possibility of my name ACTUALLY being Doug H. Nuts? Very low to start with. And the chance of a person by that name working in a doughnut store? Even lower. Honestly people, just think about it a little.

One thing I'm confused about is the amount of people who cannot hear and speak that come through the drive-through. If you're deaf, you can get out of the car and come inside, where we can see you point at the doughnuts you want and be happy to assist you. If you are sick and cannot speak, do not come through the drive-through, pull straight through the ordering place then write what you want on a pad and show it to us at the window. Come. In. Side. It burns calories, which will be useful cause we all know you're about that eat that dozen glazed you claim to be taking home to your family.

Yesterday a lady came through the drive-through and placed and order that sounded something like this:

"Can I have two of every one on the bottom row of your menu?"

What the hell? Why do you think I know what our menu looks like? I have no frickin clue what it looks like, I doubt I've ever even actually driven through it. And the next morning she comes through again, orders and pulls up, all good. After I've handed her the doughnuts she hands them back to me and gestures to them saying:

Customer- "Oh I'm sorry, we wanted four of the chocolate iced sour cream"

Me- "Uh...we don't have chocolate iced sour cream..."

Customer- "Well then, what was the doughnut in the bottom left-hand corner on your menu?"

Really, lady? Yes, really.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

In Other News....

We now have a transvestite that has become a regular customer.

Still in the Spirit of Christmas

A man came in, ordered 20 cups of coffee, paid for them, took two and then said "Tell the next 18 people who order coffee it's on me!" I should mention that our coffee is only 25 cents, so maybe it wasn't all *that* weird.

I do believe the Hello Kitty woman, whom I mentioned it my first post, has caught on to me. She has started bringing her own Equal in and just adding it herself.

Oh, and doughnuts kill brain cells. Apparently, it is only stupid people to buy doughnuts, because they cannot comprehend how we cannot make hot doughnuts THE ENTIRE DAY! Other doughnuts must be made! We cannot cater to your every whim and craving for hot doughnuts. I don't care that you've driven from Michigan just to get some hot doughnuts. And no, do not tell me to "nuke it". Not going to happen.

A cool guy did come in a few weeks ago very early in the morning and told us that getting some of our hot doughnuts was on his bucket list.

One co-worker of mine, Juju went up to Manager Steve today and gave him a Wet Willie. Understand that we're all on very good terms so this wasn't really a strange thing to do, although rather mean. Anyways, he starts going on about how he's going to get her back, that what he will do will make her cry, maybe even quit. And that he's the King of Getting Revenge. So then she's freaking out the rest of the day, just anticipating what he could possible do that would make her cry. I feel bad for Juju but I'm *really* curious as to what Steve is gonna do....

Monday, November 16, 2009

New Post

Alright, so I haven't posted in a while. Which is actually okay, because I don't really believe anyone reads this. However, I shall try to post more regularly.

Today at work, Tom Hanks came in. He was kind of a cross between the Tom Hanks in Forrest Gump, and the one in Catch Me if You Can.

Oh yeah, so instead of a normal name tag that says my name, I have one that says, surprise surprise, Doug H. Nuts. Most people, after a second glance, recognize this could not be my real name and laugh at it. On a few rare occasions people will not understand and either not find it funny, or be offended that my fake last name is "Nuts". Figure that out. Following is an account of a conversation (all true I assure you) that happened to me today.

(I am ringing two people up at the counter. It appears to be a woman in her mid 40's and her father)

Father- *makes some inaudible comment about my name tag*

Me- *pretends to have heard him*

Daughter- "Why is your name 'Doughnuts'?"

Me- "No, you see, my name is Doug H. Nuts."

Daughter - "That's stupid. It says doughnuts on your shirt and doughnuts on your hat, and it ALREADY says doughnuts on your name tag, so why would you say it again? That's so dumb. It doesn't make any sense."

Me- *fake smile* "Have a great day!"

That was fantastic. I had never met someone who absolutely did not get the humor behind the name.

Hopefully, more posts soon.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Not Racist

Why are black people always so angry? Honestly, whenever a black person comes through the drive-through, they are always angry! Why?!?! Not all the white people are angry. What has made you so mad, all you black people?

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Here's a funny exchange that happened between me a customer a while back:

Me and one coworker, who likes very much to tease me, are working the front counter, and we're both wearing headsets for drive-thru.

*customer comes in, orders doughnuts and proceeds to the counter, where I get ready to ring her up*

Me- *over headset* "Can you go into the back and get me another tray of sprinkles? And don't give me any crap about how you're not gonna do it, cause I really need them."

Customer- *heard me say that* "You like that boy, don't you?"

Me- "Uhh....what?"

Customer- "You have a crush on that boy, don't you?"

Me- ""

Customer- "Well he's pretty cute!"

Me- "Yeah....okay..."

*customer leaves without another word*

Me- "Well...that was....weird."

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Doughnut day

The idea for this blog came one day as I was working at the doughnut store, and talking to a co-worker about the many crazy things that happen there daily. At first I considered writing a book about these happenings, then decided it would be much easier to blog. For starters I'm gonna introduce you to all the people that I mainly work with, and names have been changed:

Manager Steve: His duties consist mainly of walking out of the office a few times a day, squinting at everyone, then walking back. He also mysteriously appears at the front counter when a pretty girl is in line.

Manger Beth: I don't know much about her, except that she's in her mid-twenties and LOVES Twilight.

James: He's one of the few hard-working, awesome co-workers

Mary: She makes the doughnuts, and normally screws a ton up before getting it right.

These are the main people I work with, anyone I've left out will be addressed when needed.

And then we have our regulars, people who come in every day, or very often. We (the employees) like to give them nicknames:

Makeup Lady: She always comes through the drive through, and order two decaf coffees with one doughnut of varying flavors. We call her Makeup Lady because she is obviously a heavy smoker and uses gobs of makeup on her face to cover up the effects.

The Dude: Perhaps the most mysterious of the regulars, he comes through the drive-through almost every day. His car is always miraculosly clean, but he has about six dollars in change on the passenger side seat. He used to be called "Shirtless Dude", as he would rarely wear a shirt. This was later shortened to "the Dude", a tribute to the movie, The Big Lebowski. He continuosly orders two glazed, one maple and a coffee. Sometimes he'll order it with eight sugars on the side, with cream or sometimes just cream and sometimes just black.

Hello Kitty: She drives a big old truck, and orders two coffees with cream and half a packet of equal each. Yes, HALF a packet of equal. I just add a full packet each, and I've got this plan where I'm gradually going to up her Equals, then switch to regular sugar, then "forget" to add sugar at all, and see what happens. She's nicknamed Hello Kitty cause she always pays with a Visa card that has Hello Kitty on it.

Kenneth: On the one-year aniversary of this doughnut store, which was back in May, the guy who owns all the stores handed out little cards that get you one free doughnut and coffee each day for a year. Kenneth has one of those cards. He's very cool-looking and always in a good mood. One time I saw him at a Wal-Mart and recognized him, and he recognized me too.

Carla: Although she moved away I felt the need to give her a tribute. She would come through the drive-through every day and order something along the lines of 5 glazed and a soda. Sometimes if she was feeling healthy, she'd only order 3 glazed with an orange juice

I think that's it for starters. I'll try to post some story after I come home from work on my workdays! I might post something later on today if I think of anything

Sincerely yours,

Doug H. Nuts